Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
