He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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