no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
