i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
