called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
