I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
