haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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