I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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