Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
