What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
