Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize