he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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