I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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