Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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