You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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