And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
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