One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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