I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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