I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
