Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
