I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
