John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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