Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize