i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
