when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
