I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize