Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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