no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
