Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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