Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
