I should be sponsored by Trojan
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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