How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
