i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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