dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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