Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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