john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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