i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My balls are so social today.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
