operation harelip BJ is a go
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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