I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
ttyl tear gas
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
