Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
