dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
