I love black thongs
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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