Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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