dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
