Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
