In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
