Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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