Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
