That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
