Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
