She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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