Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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