What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
