why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
