Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize