I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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