I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
