I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
