You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
