Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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