I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Acid is not a monday night drug
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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