dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize