Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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