can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
