dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
